The presents have all been unwrapped, the egg nog has done its job and you’re ready to stop talking to everyone who’s been getting on your nerves all day. Here’s to hoping you’ve got access to a streaming subscription service, and your father-in-law finally figured out where he put the piece of paper with the WiFi password on it.
Whether you’ve got Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime, you’ve got plenty of opportunities to avoid your Great-Aunt Glady’s incessant questioning and watch fictional people enjoy (or not enjoy) the holiday season.
Note(s): I make no claims on seeing all of these movies, so read the summaries with a shaker of salt handy and watch at your own risk. And again, you’ll need a subscription for the below options.
Netflix
A Christmas Carol (1938): The classic tale of a miserly old man who gets to hang out with a few ghosts so he (spoiler alert) can fully understand what a gift love can be.
Starring: Reginald Owen, Gene Lockhart, Kathleen Lockhart, Terry Kilburn, Barry MacKay
Happy Christmas (2014): A classic tale of a recently-single 20-something who tries to start over for the holidays but (surprise!) finds that’s easier said than done. Ah, indie comedies.
Starring: Anna Kendrick, Melanie Lynskey, Joe Swanberg, Mark Webber, Lena Dunham
One Magic Christmas (1985): A mother dealing with a bunch of family issues that’ve turned her Grinchy has trouble summoning the Christmas spirit, until her daughter takes a trip to deliver a letter to Santa. Because Santa fixes everyone’s parents at Christmas.
Starring: Mary Steenburgen, Harry Dean Stanton
The Fitzgerald Family Christmas (2012): The classic tale of the prodigal father/husband, returning at Christmas so that hijinks and heartfelt moments can ensue and everyone can learn a valuable lesson about family.
Starring: Edward Burns, Kerry Bishé, Connie Britton
White Christmas (1954): According to my mother, because I always fall asleep trying to watch this movie, “I think that’s the one where Bing Crosby and Gene Kelly (editor’s note: not Gene Kelly) go to an inn in Vermont where they’re struggling financially and they fall in love with Rosemary Clooney and do a lot of singing and dancing and sing ‘White Christmas’ and put on a show to save the inn.”
Starring: Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye (not Gene Kelly), Rosemary Clooney, Vera-Ellen
Love Actually (2003): Every British person ever plus an American or two figure out love and remake a Mariah Carey song while the Prime Minister makes out with his employee at a children’s Christmas pageant and everyone is basically fine with it.
Starring: Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Alan Rickman, Keira Knightley, Rowan Atkinson, Bill Nighy
12 Dates of Christmas (2011): Like Groundhog Day, except it’s Christmas and Zach Morris is romantically involved with someone other than Kelly Kapowski. I’m probably going to watch this right now.
Starring: Mark-Paul Gosselaar, Amy Smart
All American Christmas Carol (2013): In this iteration of the Charles Dickens classic, Scrooge is a self-absorbed mother who drinks too much and ends up hanging out with three Christmas ghosts.
Starring: Taryn Manning, Beverly D’Angelo, Wendi McLendon-Covey
While You Were Sleeping (1995): Sandy Bullock uses the tried-and-true dating method of pretending to be the girlfriend of an unconscious guy to win over his family, while refusing to deal with the reality of the situation (spoiler alert: she’s got a crush on a comatose dude with the best eyebrows ever).
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Bill Pullman, Peter Gallagher
Serendipity (2001): A romantic comedy about what happens when two good-looking people both want to buy the same pair of gloves.
Starring: John Cusack, Kate Beckinsale, a pair of gloves
A Christmas Kiss (2011): It’s Christmas, there’s kissing in elevators, mistaken identities and other shenanigans one might expect out of a movie with the words “Christmas” and “kiss” in the title.
Starring: Elisabeth Rohm, Lauren Breckenridge, Brendan Fahr
The Legend of Frosty the Snowman (2005): This is a cartoon about a snowman and it’s narrated by Burt Reynolds. That’s all you need to know.
Starring: Burt Reynolds’ voice, a snowman named Frosty
Beethoven’s Christmas Adventure (2011): If the holidays need saving from a bad guy (and they always do) you better believe a giant St. Bernard is going to show up.
Starring: A huge dog
Santa Buddies (2009): There are a lot of Christmas movies about dogs doing stuff. Where are all the Christmas cat movies? This one also features dogs saving Christmas.
Starring: Lots of golden retrievers, Santa Claus
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993): Jack Skellington is sick of being pigeon-holed as only a Halloween guy, so he kidnaps Santa Claus in order to take his place. Hey, sometimes we all want something different in a career, right?
Starring: Danny Elfman, Catherine O’Hara, Chris Sarandon, creepy awesome animation
Christmas With the Cranks (2004): WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT TO SKIP CHRISTMAS JUST BECAUSE YOUR KID MOVED OUT OF THE HOUSE? A cautionary tale for all grumpy parents.
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Tim Allen, Dan Aykroyd
Radio City Christmas Spectacular (2007): Can’t make it to New York City? No problem, the Rockettes are kickin’ it on Netflix.
Starring: Badass ladies doing their thing. Also, Santa.
I’ll Be Home For Christmas (1998): OH BUT WILL YOU, JTT? WILL YOU?!? You’ll have to watch to find out.
Starring: Jonathan Taylor Thomas AKA JTT, Jessica Biel
Ernest Saves Christmas (1988): It’s the ’80s, Christmas needs saving yet again, and this time Ernest is on the job.
Starring: Ernest, duh. I mean, Jim Varney.
The Ref (1994): If you’re going to get burgled on Christmas Eve, it might as well be by Denis Leary, right?
Starring: Denis Leary, Judy Davis, Kevin Spacey
Trading Places (1983): Oh, so you think this isn’t a Christmas movie? It all starts with an office holiday party, so think again.
Starring: Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy, Ralph Bellamy, Don Ameche, Denholm Elliott, Jamie Lee Curtis
Bad Santa (2003): Mall Santas gone wrong. If you couldn’t tell that from the title, that is.
Starring: Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Lauren Graham, Bernie Mac, John Ritter
A Very Murray Christmas (2015): Not really a movie, but it is Bill Murray and it is about Christmas so give it a chance.
Starring: Bill Murray, obviously, as well as celebrity buddies: Chris Rock, Jenny Lewis, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Miley Cyrus, and George Clooney
Get Santa (2014): Don’t be fooled by the title — this movie is NOT about trying to figure out what to get Santa Claus for Christmas, but instead about an apparently very irresponsible St. Nick crashing his sleigh and then it’s up to others to — guess what? — save the bearded one, and therefore, Christmas.
Starring: Jim Broadbent, Rafe Spall, Warwick Davis, Kit Connor
I Am Santa Claus (2014): A documentary that follows five mall Santas through the season, not to be confused with I Am Robot. Though a robotic mall Santa might be kind of cool…
Starring: Five guys who dress up as Santa.
Hulu
A Very Brady Christmas (1988): Here’s the story of a lovely lady and a man named Brady who had a popular TV show in the ’70s that kept making specials and sequels into eternity. This one is about Christmas.
Starring: Florence Henderson, Robert Reed, Ann B. Davis, Maureen McCormick, Eve Plumb, Jennifer Runyon, Barry Williams, Christopher Knight
The Little Rascals Christmas (1994): Spanky’s mom needs a new winter coat, and the gang needs to learn the true meaning of Christmas.
Starring: Travis Tedford, Bug Hall, Brittany Ashton Holmes
The 12 Dogs of Christmas (2005): These dogs don’t appear to be intent on saving Christmas, but instead are just a bunch of dogs that show people the true meaning of Christmas during the Depression. The true meaning of Christmas HAS to have something to do with canines, based on the fact that there are so many Christmas dog movies.
Starring: I am just going to assume, 12 dogs.
Truman Capote’s One Christmas (1994): I have never seen this movie but it’s based on an autobiographical story by Truman Capote and stars The Fonz and Katharine Hepburn. That is the only time you will ever see that grouping of people together, I guarantee it. Also, Christmas is involved.
Starring: Katharine Hepburn, Henry Winkler, Swoosie Kurtz
The Man Who Saved Christmas (2002): Seriously, how many times do we need to save Christmas? This is about a man who did so in 1918, according to IMDB, despite the effort of all those dogs already on the case.
Starring: Jason Alexander, Kelly Rowan, Ari Cohen
Switchmas (2012): What happens when a Jewish guy obsessed with Christmas figures out how to get the Christmas of his dreams by trading airline tickets and places with another boy on his way to snowy Christmastown, WA? I honestly don’t know, but this movie will apparently have the answers.
Starring: Elliott Gould, David DeLuise, Elijah Nelson
A Christmas Wish (2011): The original Buffy the Vampire Slayer (aka Kristy Swanson) is abandoned by her husband right before Christmas and goes on a cross-country trip with her kids to find work. IMDB tells me there are warm-hearted people involved which is good because there are no dogs around to save this Christmas.
Starring: Kristy Swanson, Edward Herrmann, K.C. Clyde
Dear Santa (2011): You know when you’re lonely and drifting through life and you find a letter from a little girl asking for a new wife for her dad for Christmas, and you decide to go find them just in case you fall in love? Yeah, that. AND it’s directed by Jason Priestly of 90210 fame.
Starring: Amy Acker, David Haydn-Jones, Emma Duke
Holiday Engagement (2011): A recently-dumped woman employs the tried-and-true method of hiring a boyfriend to bring home for the holidays. What could go wrong? My guess? Everything.
Starring: Bonnie Somerville, Shelley Long, Jordan Bridges
A Christmas Wedding (2013): If you want to really test your relationship and familial bonds, why not plan your wedding for Christmas in a rural town with your fighting in-laws? At least you know things will end happily, because life is just like a TV movie.
Starring: Vivica A. Fox, Miguel A. Núñez Jr., Hawthorne James
Who needs a plot? Just put something on: Christmas Fireplace, Holiday Lights, Christmas Village, Magical Christmas, Winter Splendor, and Christmas Traditions
Amazon Prime
Under the Mistletoe (2009): Just your average feel-good, family movie involving a tragic car accident, Christmas, and, ostensibly, kissing under the mistletoe.
Starring: Jaime Ray Newman, Michael Shanks
Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas (2013): Madea finally gets a Christmas flick, eight movies into Perry’s neverending franchise. Likelihood that hijinks will ensue when she heads to the country for the holidays: inevitable.
Starring: Tyler Perry, Chad Michael Murray, Tika Sumpter
A Norman Rockwell Christmas Story (1996): Having a painting come to life might be slightly terrifying, depending on the artist, but in this case it’s Americana favorite Norman Rockwell, so we’re hoping this is actually the “heartwarming Christmas tale” the synopsis says it is, and not some nightmarish scenario.
Starring: Kippy Kroh, Chris Liberto, Emily Newman
Christmas Classics Vol. 1 (2005): This animated set is an 8-for-the-price-of-one-except-it’s-free-with-your-Amazon-Prime-membership set, including Somewhere In Dreamland, Santa’s Surprise, Hector’s Hectic Life, Snow Foolin, Jack Frost, Christmas Comes But Once A Year, The Night Before Christmas, and The Shanty Where Santy Lives
Starring: Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, other cartoon creatures associated with Christmas
Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in July (1979): What happens when Rudolph and Frosty combine forces to protect the North Pole? My guess is they save Christmas five months before it happens.
Starring: Red Buttons, Ethel Merman
Frosty’s Winter Wonderland (1976): This one has all the makings of a Christmas movie, combined with a classic rom-com, so I’m just going to go with the Amazon summary: “Frosty has lots of young friends, but he’s still lonely. The children build him a wife named Crystal, but jealous, cold-hearted Jack Frost plots to keep Frosty and Crystal apart.” I AM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT.
Starring: Andy Griffith, Shelley Winters, Dennis Day
Christmas Lodge (2011): What’s a girl to do when the site of treasured family memories has fallen into disrepair? You better believe she’s going to save not only the lodge of her youth, but Christmas itself.
Starring: Erin Karpluk, Michael Shanks
An American Christmas Carol (1979): You can probably get the gist of this one without me telling you, but it’s got all that Scrooge and Tiny Timness we all know from the classic tale except, PLOT TWIST! It’s set in America.
Starring: Henry Winkler, Dorian Harewood, David Wayne
Jack Frost (1998): Though the titular character may look terrifying, and the plot may sound super creepy, it’s just because he’s a snowman with Michael Keaton’s eyebrows with the soul of a young boy’s dead father. I actually was terrified by this movie when I saw it.
Starring: Michael Keaton, Michael Keaton’s eyebrows, Kelly Preston, Joseph Cross
The Christmas Wife (1988): Lonely widower, Christmas, personal ad for “social introductions.” Nuff said.
Starring: Jason Robards, Julie Harris
Christmas, Again (2014): Who’s gonna rescue a heartbroken Christmas tree salesman living in a trailer and working the night shift? A mysterious woman and some colorful customers, natch.
Starring: Kentucker Audley, Hannah Gross
Lost Christmas (2014): Kid, tragic events, Christmas and a happy ending. Done.
Starring: Eddie Izzard, Larry Mills
Yule Log: Video of a burning log in a fireplace.
Starring: A burning log/the chemical process of combustion
by Mary Beth Quirk via Consumerist
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